TOP FIVE TUMBLR STUMBLES

Top Five Tumblr Stumbles
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TOP FIVE TUMBLR STUMBLES



Written by Tshepo Mokoena
21 Monday 21st November 2011

What is it about Tumblr that makes it hilarious, stupid, amazing and lame all at once? Besides obvious issues with quality control, there are just some sign-ups on the micro-blogging site that haven’t got it quite down yet. But when a team or lone blogger get it right, they get it so right. Beyond wanting to find a way to insert a shameless plug for our own Don’t Panic Tumblr into this intro, I also want us to take a holistic look at some of the sweetest treats the site has given us in recent times. Just don’t tell Drake I’m writing this, alright? I don’t think he’d be too happy with me.

No Breasts, No Requests

Being a DJ means strangers in clubs often think they have the right to shout commands at you and get all up in your personal space. So anyone who’s even manned the decks (and those who haven’t) will probably find great pleasure in this blog, which collects and posts hilarious scribbled or printed notes found in and around DJ booths all over the world. My favourites range from an enraged Michael Jackson fan throwing in not one but two enraged requests, to the use of a hundred dollar bill to get one song played. Seriously, $100 for four minutes? That’s just dumb. Just go for the solo dollar like the Lil Wayne fan up top.

Polar bear tells it like it is, in CAPS

Animals Talking in All CAPS

This little bubble of brilliance is also a good ice-breaker, since most people on Tumblr/the internet love pictures of cute animals. Seriously, grown-ass men with families probably make up the majority of those users on Reddit sharing pics of a cat with ‘eyes so cute they make me want to kill myself’ or whatever. So coupling an image of a vaguely adorable animal with some roaring text in CAPS LOCK just works pretty well. Especially since most of said text is an unexpected barrage of either some kind of verbal abuse or silly pop culture reference that you wouldn’t traditionally expect a koala, penguin or badger to be credited with.

Is Ryan Gosling Cuter Than A Puppy?

Ryan Gosling might just be the main contender for the Male American Actor with the 'Most Adoring Blogs In His Honour At The Moment' prize. If you’re already a fan of the Gos you’ll already be familiar with such sites as Fuck Yeah Ryan Gosling and Feminist Ryan Gosling but the real clincher has to be Ryan Gosling going head-to-head with puppies in a battle for cuteness. The mere fact that a Gosling fan has gone so far as to source these images and splice them for each post gives it a deserving place in this countdown. PS: only lame people answer ‘the puppy’, and that’s a fact.

Your Dad Grew a Stache Before You Did / Your Dad Rode a Fixie Before You Did

Dads Are The Original Hipsters

There’s nothing quite like a spot of light-hearted hipster-bashing to make a Tumblr great: the key here is that the author of DATOH never veers into truly resentful and bitter territory. He just keeps it funny. Each post details different ways in which dads from the seventies and eighties set the trends that American hipsters now follow so diligently, from growing staches (which was not ironic back in them days) to brown-bagging booze. With flowing yet harshly sharp prose, this Tumblr weaves a mocking web with every post and relies on photo submissions from its growing audience. It’s that typical brand of Tumblr humour: one that doesn’t take itself too seriously but still hammers home a valid point.

Josef Stalin, looking like some guy most women and men would like to date

Bangable Dudes in History

To throw a spanner in the Tumblr works, I cheated and found this gem on Blogger. It celebrates unabashed perving like Fuck Yeah Historical Hotties but just pulls it off better with its use of pie charts. They make everything better. Just when you thought that Stalin’s acts of horrific state-condoned violence were unforgivable it surfaces that he was pretty slamming back in the day and maybe it’d be okay to change your mind about him. A little? No? Okay, that’s fair. He, amongst others, is broken down into percentiles of hotness in a way that pleases me (even though not all the picks are always that tasty).

 

Which Tumblrs keep you chuckling when your procrastination’s going exceptionally well? Let us know.

Don't Panic attempt to credit photographers and content owners wherever possible, however due to the sheer size and nature of the internet this is sometimes impractical or impossible. If you see any images on our site which you believe belong to yourself or another and we have incorrectly used it please let us know at panic@dontpaniconline.com and we will respond asap.



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