Do you cheat on your spouse but wish there was an easier way to hide those incriminating texts? Do you have a friend or colleague whose emails you wish you could read? Do you really hate people parking badly? Well luckily for you there are people with lots of money and even more free time who feel the same way! Here’s our run down of the sneakiest, most invasive and downright disturbing apps available for your smartphone.
If you can’t parallel park, don’t move to Russia. If you park illegally, disrespectfully or even poorly in Moscow, you will be subjected to the worst kind of humiliation... facebook humiliation. If someone sees a badly parked car that really makes their blood boil, all they need do is download Parking Douche, take a snap of the license plate and upload it. Using GPS technology, everybody within a three mile radius will have their access to the internet blocked with a pop up picture of the offending vehicle, and it will remain blocked until they ‘share’ it with a group of friends on facebook or twitter.
If you’re too poor or too lazy to get an internet connection or sort out your own user profile, then Faceniff is for you. Kind of like Firesheep (an extension pack for the Firfox browser which allows you to intercept unencrypted cookies and hijack people's profiles or personal details), Faceniff allows you to take another user’s credentials and hijack their session profile if they’re using the same wifi as you. Demonstrating how easy it is for anyone to hack into your Facebook account and steal your details, the Faceniff instructions are simple: Just download the app, search for surrounding profiles and jump on some unassuming sucker’s back (metaphorically of course). All popular social networks are now victim to this slightly dubious piece of software, as well as Youtube and Amazon, so get involved and cruise to your heart’s content.
Described as being ‘so easy your grandma could use it’ Absinthe 2.0 is the latest in untethered jailbreak hackery for iPhones & iPads. Jailbreak exploits release you from the restraints created by your smartphone provider. You can pirate any app you want, and download features that the company hasn't approved yet, such as wirelessly sharing your phone's 3G connection with your laptop for free internet on the go. Also, as it's untethered, you won't have to connect your iPhone to your laptop every time you want to reboot it (a restriction with previous versions). Allowing you to open up your iPhone to 3rd party applications that aren’t available through the official app store, Absinthe 2.0 frees you from the money grabbers at Apple HQ. Hurrah for free stuff!
Most people are familiar with SpyGold. Possibly the most invasive piece of software for the truly neurotic and paranoid, SpyGold allows you to do absolutely anything you want with someone else’s phone... Really, you can do anything. Once you’ve downloaded the app onto your phone and your chosen subject’s phone, they will never see a trace of it again. You, on the other hand, will be able to use and abuse it whenever you like. You can read their texts and emails, look at their photos and call history and track their every move with their GPS system. The latest 2012 edition of SpyGold includes one extra feature which really makes you feel like James Bond... or a massive creep. You can use their phone as a bugging device. Listen in on any phone conversation, or remotely turn it into a one way speaker system allowing you to hear everything going on in the room without them ever knowing. So boys and girls who suspect their other halves of cheating, for only $500 a year you can turn those suspicions into evidential proof. Now isn’t that worrying?
“Protect your privacy and secrets from prying eyes”. This is what the Call and Text Eraser app promises. Technology has advanced to the point that, yes, even you can cheat and actually get away with it. With features including a ‘blacklist’ for those numbers you won’t want your other half to see, and a secret folder hidden under lock and key for all their texts, emails and photos. Their number will never appear in your call history, in fact, it won’t even appear in your phone book. Every text, call and saucy photo they send will be re-routed to your PIN locked secret folder, ready for you to view whenever you’re ready. With an actual tag-line of “A one-time fee of only $4.99, it’s a little cheaper than a divorce!” it’s no wonder that C.A.T.E has stayed in the top ten of the download chart throughout 2011 and 2012.