Rest In Vinyl
Live on from beyond the groove
And Vinyly are a company based here in a UK on a mission to make death a greater experience. And their method is a simple one. After having yourself burnt to ashes, print what’s left of your remains on a vinyl record of your choice. As company founder Jason Leach said, “It’s a bit more interesting than being in a pot on a shelf.”
The whole thing only costs £2000, and you can opt for a hand-painted portrait for cover art as well. (More of your ashes get mixed into the paint, which is a nice touch.) With a basic package you get about 24 minutes of time to pack full with songs representative of you and your life, to be played by descendants for all eternity – no pressure, or anything. Alternatively, you can get a song written for you by artists from The House of Fix and www.daftwerk.com. Or you can just leave the record blank, with just the crackle of your ashes to break the silence. The perfect thing for your family to whack out at Christmas!
It does make you worry about some of the terrible choices people can make on their death-beds, though. Would you be able to say no to being forever spinning around with J-Kwon’s Tipsy? Would you be able to say no to the sound of your ashes popping along with babygirl ass jiggle like she want more, like she a groupie and I ain’t even on tour? (I would be able to say no.) Even worse, what about getting printed onto a Bieber LP; proof that there really is no escape from the incessant whining.
Then again, surely you’d get tired of even the most treasured song after a couple hundred years. Or at least you’d get plagued with the fear that you picked the wrong one. It doesn’t seem worth the trouble, not when dying’s pretty tough in the first place. So just bury me with my Avril Lavigne CD’s and I’ll be fine.
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