Recently seen on The Only Way Is Essex, 'vajazzling' describes the ‘art’ of decorating a lady’s private parts with crystals - preferably Swarovski, of course. The ‘craze’ started earlier this year, when Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Hollywood actress, went on a talk show explaining how much she loved vajazzling, and how, ‘every women should do it.’ She discovered it when her friend stuck Swarovski crystals on her, ‘precious lady’ (that's seriously what she calls it). This apparently delighted her so much that she continues to decorate downstairs to this day. ‘It’s like a little disco ball down there,’ she exclaimed. Clearly, this trend is catching on - at least in Essex.
In one episode of the ITV reality show, beautician Amy gives her friend a vajazzle. Or vajazzles her friend, depending on whether we're far enough along the trend to create a new verb. There are two simple steps: Start by shaving or waxing your bikini area completely. Then apply the crystal stickers to the upper part of your bikini area only. Easy as that.
This all begs just one question…Well, ok, it begs quite a few, but the main one has to be, um, WHY?
In Jennifer L-H’s case it was to cheer herself up after a break up. Perhaps that makes sense - you’ve had enough of men, go and do something ultra girly - prettify your vajayjay. Vagina + sparkles = happiness (OK, let’s get it over with here - the vagina’s just not involved, but 'mons pubazzle' is clearly not as catchy). And the vajazzle, unlike most of those procedures for down there, can’t be to please men. There really is nothing in it for them- unless they find it useful for gauging a girl’s sanity. Otherwise, really - crystals? It’s gotta hurt.
Or maybe men could get in on the act. Get themselves some genital bling! So far it appears only one man has braved a ‘penazzle’ (though again, this is nowhere near the area implied by the name- Trading Standards should be onto this).
If men got a little more daring there’s fun to be had - adorn your testicles this christmas and dazzle us with some real disco balls.
Ed - I don't know why I saw this as a challenge, but here's a better effort from Team XY
Of course, pubic adornment is hardly new. Vajazzling is just one of the latest in a whole host of ‘accessories’ for down there.
One of the oldest embellishments, still around today, is the merkin. Used way back in the 1600s, pubic wigs were used by prostitutes to hide syphilis, as well as male actors when playing naked females. Nowadays, they’re more often used in Hollywood to avoid scenes of total nudity, and in period films to hide those modern waxes.
Waxing is often an accessory in itself now. Brazilian, Hollywood…or why not stencil a picture down there? A forerunner to the vajazzle, DIY stencil kits are now easy to find.
If you thought waxing was painful, best not try the pubic tattoo trend. Hair removal is usually necessary anyway, and then there’s the pain of the needles (see Demon Girl & Dragon Boy, below). Maybe a vajazzle isn’t so bad after all.
Are you hiding any other styles from us? Let us know in the comments!