Deep Fried Coke
Coca-Cola, one of the great American brands to blame for childhood obesity. This sticky brown drink is full of nothing but sugar and additives, so it was a natural transition when they decided to mix it with batter and deep fry strings of the stuff. Apparently it tastes like a mixture of doughnut and pure evil.
Deep Fried Skittles
'Taste the Rainbow' was once the slogan for this now destroyed sweet. Every child loves skittles with their fruity flavour and chewy texture, both of which have been destroyed during the battering and deep frying process. All that is left after the deep frying nightmare is a soft, homogenous sweet blob. Is nothing sacred?
Deep Fried Fruit
Do you think fruit is too healthy? I know I do. Well Americans nationwide have heard our prayers. Apples, bananas, grapes, even mangoes can be transformed from dull, lifeless foodstuffs into a thing of beauty with the aid of some batter and a deep fat fryer. In case you can’t tell, that’s watermelon in the above picture.
Deep Fried Butter
We can’t even blame Americans for this creation. We need only look as far as Glasgow for the latest in gastronomic offences. Deep fried butter has become a staple in most fish and chip shops, out-selling the ever popular deep fried mars bar. Apparently it has become a modern tradition to buy it with a pot of curry sauce (or jam for those with a sweet tooth) and sit back and wait for the coronary.
Deep Fried Latte
Nothing wakes you up in the morning like that double shot skinny latte, and nothing will put you into an eternal sleep like a deep fried latte with whipped cream and powdered sugar. Coffee mix is combined with batter and sugar, deep fried, then laced with more coffee, whipped cream and chocolate sauce... It’s worrying how good this actually sounds.
Deep Fried Baconnaise
No my friends this was not a typo. Fed up of having to put mayonnaise on their bacon sandwiches, those canny Americans have fused the two together in perfect harmony. Baconnaise has all the savoury goodness of bacon with all the gooiness of mayonnaise. To make matters worse, someone in Texas decided to roll it in a ball, batter it and deep fry it. Yes, that’s right, deep fried bacon flavoured mayonnaise balls. America has reached a new low.
Deep Fried Bacon Cheeseburger Doughnuts
It does what it says on the tin. It is a deep fried, bacon cheeseburger doughnut. Apparently KFC and Krispy Kreme are having talks about a potential chicken variety. I don’t know whether this is beautiful or hideous.
Deep Fried Kool Aid
Kool-Aid. The soft drink that kids beg their mums to buy has been turned into a fair-ground favourite. Charlie Boghosian, of Chicken Charlie’s in San Diego, has invented over 100 deep fried treats, from Pop Tarts to Oreos and has apparently found his Everest in the deep fried Kool-Aid ball. By mixing the powder with flour and water, he fries the balls into mini cherry flavoured doughnuts. At the opening weekend of last year’s San Diego fair Charlie sold over 9,000 of these bizarre confections, requiring over 150 pounds of Kool-Aid.