As exploding ticket prices, big racists, and Lana Del Rey supporting Liverpool send the Premier League toward the abyss, the ailing football fan is probably wondering where to focus their passion for the beautiful game. Put simply, you should turn to Non-League football, or more specifically, Dulwich Hamlet, the best club in pretty much the whole world. Let's be honest, the only good thing that's happened in the Premier League in the last few years was when that cat ran on the pitch at Anfield. So come support your local team - or at least my local team - as we wipe the floor with Maidstone tonight. It will be a victory for football. (Kick off 7.45 pm at Champion Hill Stadium, Edgar Kail Way, East Dulwich, London SE22 8BD.)
Recently, a local hero has created these amazing posters for the team's matches. So even if you don't like football, you may be able to snag one of these gems from the club bar. But you'll probably forget to do even that, as the total-non-league football and lack of sensation in your extremities will have you completely transfixed on the match.
INTERNET POINTS ALERT
To see more of these posters check out @vornstyle. To see if a blizzard will cancel tonight's match follow @DulwichHamletFC. For more news on grassroots football, Lana Del Rey, follow @JackBlocker.