Inappropriate toys


Written by Madeleine Cowley
06 Monday 06th June 2011

The ideal gift for an aspiring stripper, the above pole dance toy comes complete with blinking lights, a disco ball and pole. It even rotates!

Modelled on Harry’s first broom, Mattel's battery operated Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Vibrating Broomstick was released in 2002 and featured a grooved stick and handle for kids who wanted to ride it around the house. The dubious product generated a riot of rave reviews on Amazon "I'm 32 and enjoy riding the broom as much as my 12 yr old and 7 year old," but alas it was removed from the market after mere months.

Skipper was Barbie’s little sister. In 1975 toy manufacturers Mattel decided it was time for her to hit puberty, a transition that was portrayed in the most biologically accurate way possible. When you rotated Skipper’s left arm she’d sprout some boobs and grow an inch taller.

This rather special inflatable slide would liven up any children’s birthday party as you watch your guests emerge from the phallic structure to be ejaculated across the lawn.

Over in Japan, another bizarrely badly-planned blow-up mascot - why not encourage your kids to clamber inside Pokemon's Pikachu's giant rubbery vagina? Someone needs to get these recreational masterpeices together at the same event.

Here we have Disney's Rad Repeatin' Tarzan, a seemingly innocent toy until it is set in motion. Apparently "Repeatin'" is Disneyish for "masturbating". When you activate the lever on Tarzan's back the figure jerks into action, complete with convincing sound effects. 

Tarzan wasn't the only Disney character given an unfitting portrayal in toy form . The special relationship between The Lion King's wise baboon Rafiki and lion cub Simba was (perhaps too) lovingly recreated in the plaything in the video below.

Must we be subjected to this filth? Will the madness never stop? Can't someone please think of the children?

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