Has anyone noticed the influx of advertisements for cosmetic surgery on the tube lately? From stuffy and congested platforms the message ‘you are not perfect and therefore not happy’ glares down at sweaty stressed commuters, already whacked out on caffeine and pro-plus, trying to succeed in a rat race where looks equal power, success and money. It’s no wonder that cosmetic surgery companies have chosen to target self-confidence lacking commuters, scurrying around in ubiquitous corridors, avoiding the glare of the world above.

Into the web of fears and anxieties London Underground instils in many a passenger, companies such as the Harley Medical Group install gleaming advertisements offering a ray of hope to those contemplating jumping in front of the 9.11am northern line to Charing Cross. With a new set of Double-D’s, a couple of cheek implants and a quick and easy tummy tuck you’ll be living the life of a city high-flyer in no time. And gentlemen, don’t think that this kind of life affirming action isn’t just for the ladies. Ruined your Calvin Klein model chances by putting a little weight on around the chest area? Simply opt for a chest reduction. Protruding ears affecting your ability to meet women? Why not have them re-shaped? Throw some calf implants in there too! If the advertisements are anything to go by we can assume the procedure is quick, easy and relatively pain free.