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The Khartoum protesters baying for the death of Gillian Gibbons may have seemed extreme to us pansy-assed western infidels, but even a vague knowledge of Sudanese Law confirms that Gibbons had a damn good thrashing coming to her and probably knew it when she forced the kids to name that filthy, Allah-forsaken bear 'Mohammed' (praise be his name).

As can clearly be seen in any copy of Sharia Law, Pocket Edition:

(Translated from the Arabic)
Section XXXIIII, Subsection 5, Paragraph F, pertaining to the naming of animals after the prophet Mohammed (praise be his name):

i) Naming of a stuffed ‘Teddy’ bear Mohammed (praise be his name) - 40 lashes with a small to medium lasher. Lasher should be wielded by a medium-built man, who may be the same size as a driver of a cart.

ii) Naming of a draft excluder in shape of snake with a bowtie Mohammed (praise be his name) - 150 lashes with lasher which is similar to a cat o' nine tails wielded by a man of dimensions commensurate with that of the doorman of a popular night club.

iii) Naming of an actual pig, with addictions to Special Brew and White Lightening, who eats bacon for breakfast and has full blown PIG AIDS Mohammed (praise be his name) - 5000 lashes with the type of lasher used in Mel Gibson’s (praise be his name) The Passion of the Christ, wielded in relay by the Sudanese Olympic Lashing Team.

So who says Sudan should be nuked? Not us, with such a benign and forgiving government who are willing to make allowances for ignorant infidels too stupid to read up on a little Sudanese law before arriving to poison the minds of the country’s youth with their ignorance! Good on you Khartoum, keep up the stirling work.