Day by day I seem to be becoming lazier. In fact today I reached a level of laziness where I physically and mentally rejected the concept of being lazy. My body and mind rebelled and so I spent an entire day expelling as much energy as possible… running around the streets, flailing my arms wildly and screaming at bemused onlookers.

We're on a mission to constantly develop new technology or adapt old technology in order to make our lives easier. We buy stereos that hold more discs than we actually have in our collections. An alarm clock has been produced that, after waking you, can make cups of tea or coffee without any human input at all! Our cars have cruise control features to save us from wasting all the energy we'd use keeping our foot on the accelerator pedals. Our species are moving slowly towards a style of behaviour similar to that of an agoraphobic where leaving the home is a last resort. We’re now working from home wherever possible, thereby making the journey to the office a breeze. We communicate using email, Internet phones and the ever-evolving mobile telephone. We take advantage of Tesco's home delivery service and basically do everything in our power to avoid coming into contact with another human being for the rest of our lives.

Electronic methods rule the communication seesaw - face-to-face methods becoming as archaic as the 3310. But our carnal urges are embedded deep within our being and need to be satisfied. So how can we suppress things such as our sexual desires…while keeping human contact to a minimal? Well instead of a real boyfriend or girlfriend people could obtain online partners. People who live 700 miles away that they meet over Myspace and fall madly in love with over a whirlwind two-day period…convincing themselves it was 'meant to be' because we both like the colour red, My Chemical Romance and Russell Brand's hair. Our sexual thirst can be quenched using the latest version of MSN Messenger, masturbating to poorly spelled lines of dirty text sent by our 'significant other' that sit alongside animated kisses and hearts.

For those wanting to take full advantage of such online-escapades, slapping their metaphorical penis in the very face of taboo, a pixilated knot can be tied using a new online marriage feature offered by Myspace. Separation will be easily achieved with the not-too-shabby "Divorce" button, eliminating any trace of your now unwanted spouse.

So what's next? Will the toilet become obsolete due to the introduction of designer colostomy bags? Are our family pets to be replaced with mechanical alternatives - looking identical to their predecessors but who don't require feeding? Complete with authentic sound effects and the ability to release manufactured urine and faeces onto our newly laid carpets… the difference being that your new pet can now clean up its own shit before getting on with the cooking and washing up along with many other household chores.

This is all great if you're sick and tired of having to leave the house, meet real people and process thoughts. But I quite like the challenge of making a hot drink in the morning. There’s nothing quite like the sense of accomplishment I get from adding hot water and milk to a cup containing sugar and coffee. The rise of the machines, as of yet, isn't quite the Terminator style movement portrayed to us through movie screens, but we're definitely on our way.