Much has been written about the so-called ‘golden ages’ which have steered civilisation’s course onto a path of progress and enlightenment. We hear of the genius sculptors of late antiquity, of the pluralist governments in Tang Dynasty China, and of the visionary painters at work in the European Renaissance, all of whom indelibly altered the pace and direction of human providence. The greatest of these ‘golden ages’ however, began and ended in our lifetime; a period so great academics have been forced to fashion a new phrase to do it sufficient justice: The Platinum Age 1980-1995.

Innovation in Music

If the seventeenth century brought us baroque music, and the 1950s rock and roll, then the Platinum Age undoubtedly produced a musical styling of no lesser, and perhaps greater, importance; new jack swing. Spearheaded by the colourful Bobby Brown (who predated Pete Doherty in his use of crack cocaine and ruining of beautiful women), new jack swing redefined what people expected of music. New jack swing’s distinctive arrangements and synth horns can be heard in almost all popular music made since.

Innovation in Politics

Nowhere was the spirit of the Platinum Age manifested clearer than in the sphere of politics, and within politics it was never more acutely felt than in the US administration’s Star Wars space program. Controversial at the time, the Star Wars missile defence system is now recognised as being one of the most astonishing, almost-finished policies of any age. Valiantly batting away criticism from detractors who claimed an outer-space weapon was ridiculous when America couldn’t clothe or feed its own people, the Reagan government ploughed on regardless. Sink the country’s finances into housing some black people? Maybe you didn’t hear me: they’re building a giant laser in space! Come on!

Innovation in Cooking

Human notions of cooking were completely subverted in the Platinum Age, thanks mainly to a single invention: the microwave oven. Suddenly the mere idea of cooking food using conventional ‘heat’ seemed positively savage. Mum, tired after a long day, could simply buy the ingredients, push them into a microwave and have a meal ready for her young in three minutes. A mention must also go to the miraculous ‘e’ numbers which appeared in almost all foods, preserving nutrition indefinitely and banishing crusty staleness to the history books.

Innovation in Warfare

The ways in which we think about declaring war were altered by two of the greatest icons of the Platinum Age: the Two Johns. John Rambo, portrayed in film by Sylvester Stallone, showed the world how ingenuity and feral instincts could defeat communism, whilst John Matrix, whose life was chronicled in ‘Commando’, showed, beyond a doubt, that if one’s intentions were true enough, and personal arsenal large enough, a single man could easily take on a small army without being hit once. An honourable mention goes to Navy SEAL-turned cook Casey Ryback who innovated in bomb-making-using-kitchen-appliances.

Innovation in Travel

The enterprising soul of the Platinum Age was felt keenly in the changing ways in which we travel. One of the most pressing questions facing the common man has always been, “how may I go faster,” often followed by “or hover?” These two questions were emphatically answered by the Concorde and hovercraft respectively. Tellingly, both these methods of travel have entered into mainstream transport to such an extent it is hard to remember a time when one did not rely on the trusty hovercraft!

Innovation in Disease and Illness

50 years ago the main cause of death was old age (whereby one falls into a deep sleep sat in front of a fireplace). This all changed during the Platinum Age when suddenly you were almost certainly going to die of cancer (or AIDS).

These advances in terminal illness were of course not only matched but bettered by the practitioners of modern medicine, who made significant breakthroughs not in the field of health unfortunately, but cosmetic surgery. A new dawn emerged as people realised they were able to go through the rest of their lives looking however they wanted before they died of cancer (or AIDS). Ugliness was a thing of the past.