Why do we do it to ourselves? In our desperation for signs that everything isn't completely fucked, we're constantly investing feverent hope in a plethora of patently hopeless ideas/schemes/beliefs. It's a depressing cycle. Here are some definitive examples:

1.Barrack Obama

Seeeriously! Come oooon. It’s not going to fucking happen is it? A black terrorist liberal hippy Muslim claiming to be a Christian and you think they're going to put him in charge of the US of A? No way on this earth would the lord God ever let that happen.

Okay so the ice caps are melting and we're all going to drown because we pump too much crap into the air. BUT HAY GUISE! We've sorted out this petrol thing! We can make fuel out of food! I mean, we've got all of this food just LYING AROUND. We might as well put it to good use filling our overpowered motor vehicles! It's not like we need food for anything else!

3.Burmese Protests.

Oh man, monks. You’ve got admire how they've got the balls to stand up to oppression without violence - put themselves in harms way for the sake of righteousness without raising a fist. Surely their enlightened ideals will eventually triumph over the blood-thirsty junta and their massively tooled-up army. All they have to do is continue being peaceful and spiritual and stuff.

4. Andy Murray, England etc

Okay, look. England are shit. We're not going to win anything. We're shit at tennis, cricket, swimming, football, running, hurling, curling, skating, hockey, judo and every other sport ever. And yet as soon as there's a glimmer of Andy-Murray-esque hope, we all start entertaining completely implausable thoughts. Let's come to terms with the fact that in terms of achieving sporting glory we're probably more in league with somewhere like Belize.