Big Tits Zombies
Undead chainsaw boob-a-thon demands classic status
There are some films which tread where films never quite ventured before. Films like these take years of planning; an idea hounds a young dreamer until he finds a means to make his vision a reality. Or maybe some drunk guy, having thrown up his pork scratchings behind the pub quiz machine suddenly looks to the ceiling with a joyous light in his eyes and stutters “strippers...and zombies, like, the living dead... and naked ladies.... BIG TITS ZOMBIES!”
As much as Big Tits Zombies isn’t Citizen Kane, I will fight (bikini clad – naturalment) for BTZ’s place in any aficionado’s dvd collection (not even THAT kind of aficionado). Because sometimes you need a film with its brain a little lower.
BTZ’s has everything a film could need. It tells the story of a young, wayward, busty girl, stuck dancing for tips in hicksville Japan who must finally grow up, take responsibility and hack groaning corpses in half with a chainsaw. She learns about her own strength, as well as the strength of friendship and the sad knowledge that sometimes, you just have to let your loved ones go before they almost incinerate you with their flamey lady-parts.
Filmed with a tongue placed firmly in cheek and a seemingly endless supply of comic book, tomato-red fake blood, visually the film is as arresting as a cartoon. This cartoonish element is used to great comic affect during the intermittent 3D moments which occur mostly to propel a couple of (oopsie daisy, there goes my bra) breasts or a tonne weight of bloody organs into the viewers eyes.
As low budget as this film undoubtedly is – fiscally and morally, don’t be fooled. It knows exactly what it’s doing. Sauntering around in a barely-there sequin one-piece, it is the filmic equivalent of its own stripper-cum-zombie-slayer star Rena Jodo. BTZ’s gyrates seductively on our lap and looks us right in the eye whilst we, drooling, sweaty and disgusting, eat up the show with a naughty snigger. Then afterwards, we feel like the morally superior party, though our little clammy hands were clapping with delight every time we glimpsed a stray breast, intestine or gaping skull cavity.
So just admit it. We are people. We like light-hearted nudity and extreme violence. We laugh at the misfortune of others. We are not highbrow, we just pretend to be to impress girls at parties. Really, when we are sat watching There Will Be Blood or Apocalypse Now a part of us wishes we were watching Big Tits Zombies.
The only problem my friends had with the film was the slight disappointment they had to contend with because at first they thought I’d brought them a porno.
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