Speed Dating is rubbish. We've got no evidence to back up this claim but we don't really need any. Talking to people that you don't know and have nothing in common with is bad enough without having to pay for it. But what if there was an event full of people into the same thing as you? Surely it'd be almost impossible not to fall in love with someone you met at an event like that? Helena went to the ICA for their Speed Dating for Artists night to test the theory.

Remember Spring? That brief couple of days when the sun shone and all things seemed possible – even the chance of finding true love in the heartless city? Well one of those fine evenings found me strolling across St James’ Park to the ICA for a night of Speed Dating for Artists.

One would think that the chances of finding someone you like at Speed Dating are predictably slim, but according to the event’s blurb, “They're much increased if you're an artist looking for love at tonight's very special ICA Speed Dating for Artists event.”

The format was similar to most speed-dating events. Not that I’ve ever been to one, but word on the street is that each person talks to somebody of the opposite sex for four minutes then a loud, irritating horn is sounded and the men rotate to the next table. The crucial difference at this event is that everyone has to bring a piece of their own work – a drawing, sculpture, design, mp3, or anything mobile enough to be carried to the venue – to talk about. A conversational crutch, if you like.

At the end of the evening, any pairs who ticked each other’s mutual boxes (literally) on the card would be hooked up via email. The boxes came in three categories – friends, lovers or collaborators.

The action took place in the Grade I-listed Nash & Brandon rooms. Regency-styled with elegant period features like floor to ceiling windows, their gorgeousness was accentuated by funky fuschia lighting. I was definitely impressed when I entered to meet the two artists Don’t Panic had somehow convinced to do the speed-dating for our pleasure – the painter Dan Proops, who was there with his PR lady Lisa and Ruth Holloway (who also paints - off to a good start).

The Nash room overlooks the Mall and has three balconies with fantastic postcard views of Big Ben and the London Eye. Being the first arrivals, we savoured a quiet moment on the balcony together pondering the majesty of the skyline and getting to know each other a bit better. Both artists told me that they were already in relationships. Neither of them had met their other halves at speed-dating events. Both reckoned it was a good idea to get out of their comfort zone and meet new people, even though they weren’t looking for love..

The organisers, two chic but rather brusque and flustered ladies informed us that there had been a few cancellations due to ‘illness’. Nevertheless, as the punters brave enough began to show up, I was pleasantly surprised to see a wide range of ages, and swish styled outfits. Astonishingly, quite a few of them were good-looking. Even more astonishingly the gender ratio was almost 50/50 – I’d expected it to be either predominantly young, skinny boys compensating for what they lacked in the trouser department with bounteous Shoreditch beards, or desperate middle-aged divorcees thickening around the middle. They all appeared to have made an effort to scrub the paint out from under their fingernails and – bless them! – all seemed pretty nervous. As they tentatively filed in, a pattern was rapidly established: after making it very clear that under no circumstances did they wish to be photographed for “promotional purposes” each one headed straight for the booze table... as did we.

My request for a second drink was curtly denied on the basis of their stingy drinks budget. Error - creative types looking for a bit of dutch courage require a substantial amount of booze. They ran out of red wine in a heartbeat. After we’d very slowly imbibed the one drink that the organisers allowed us, the evening got off to a late start. Then we were informed that we we weren’t welcome to stay for the event. Oli, our photographer, had enough and skipped off home feeling dejected while Lisa the PR girl and I headed downstairs to the bar.

When we returned to catch up with our artists during the break, I found that Ruth had disappeared. Perhaps she was traumatised by the experience. Perhaps she had to leave to meet her dinner appointment, but subsequent emails to her have gone unanswered so I guess we’ll never know. Dan however, was happily chatting away with some artiste and continued to do so long after the loud, annoying horn was sounded, thus causing a mini pile-up as he obstructed the flow of table traffic. When he finally managed to prise himself away from the riveting conversation, he told me he’d had a good time and had met five people he’d be friends with or collaborate with artistically. Nobody he’d cheat on his girlfriend with, though.

Things we have learned:

1. The Nash & Brandon Rooms are beautiful.

2. Dan Proops has no respect for the authority of the horn.

3. Speed Dating Artists are secretive.

Things we haven’t learned:

1. Is it possible to find love in a prescribed environment?

2. What exactly happened to Ruth Holloway in the end? We hope you enjoyed yourself, Ruth.

www.ica.org.uk

www.degreeart.com

www.saveriacristofari.com

www.samsdektop3.com

See Dan’s show ‘Sam’s Desktop III’ at the Empire Gallery, 30 Vyner St, E2 9DQ, 1-13 May 2008

The ICA's Speed Dating for Artists event is back by popular demand on the 16th of May.