In case you fooled yourself into believing Christmas is about God and loveliness and giving, the Modern Toss Christmas Special is here to remind you it's really about inappropriate relatives, getting time off work and ingratitude. Here's a few words on the subject from authors Jon Link and Mick Bunnage.

Isn't using terrible words all the time going to make them impotent?

We try to use terrible words as sparingly as possible, like a powerful spice in a delicate pudding,  something that we're surprised that the TV cooks Ramsey and Oliver haven't figured out with their 'over-fucked' dialogue. If they treated their recipes with a similar lack of respect they'd end up with an omelette with a load of potatoes piled up on it.

Does working for yourselves help you meet less wankers? Does this provide you with less inspiration?

On the contrary, over the last four years we have met some olympic-sized wankers, many of whom have featured in our cartoons once a safe period of time has elapsed.

If you could create a fantasy Christmas TV listing, what would be on the box?

Titchmarsh documentary on medieval torture instruments, culminating in him being shut in an iron cage and propped up on the beach until the tide comes in (ideally that would go on all day).

Next day you could have a phone-in to discuss what had happened.

Worst Christmas presents you've received?

A set of hammers.

Do you get many angry letters?

Not enough. We get one really long one every year - about 4-5000 words. We think it's from the same bloke.

What are you resolving to do in the New Year?

We're moving into kids TV, mind you we haven't told them about it yet.