Angry at the international community meddling in your country’s domestic affairs? Box of matches and lighter fuel at the ready but can’t get hold of the Stars and Stripes? Fear not with our five steps to striking fear into politicians’ hearts by immolating a vague representation of them on the streets.

Where's that smug smile now David?!!

Realism

Who’s this unfortunate fellow being lit up like a torch? It looks a bit like a giant Lego spaceman made by a blind man during the early onset of Parkinson’s. David Miliband I hear you scream? The wonkish, last-pick-for-the-football-team-in-PE-type Foreign Secretary? He’s definitely got black hair but who cares, headlines achieved and it’s a big win for the men with the matches.

Here's one I made earlier

Bush Fire

Before the invasion of Iraq, a Bush Fire was something that happened in the outback. Since then ‘The Burning of The Bush’ has become a important part of a decent night out in downtown Bagdad. Be sure to string him high so everyone can see him before cutting him down and spitting him out.

A Channel Four producer - uncanny.

Beyond Politics

Nothing says I’m annoyed by one of the people on a reality TV show like torching an effigy of the producers of the programme! Send them a message which will have them cowering and afraid to leave Soho House, even to meet their drug dealers.

Angry protestors burn effigies of Pakistan cricket captain Wasim Akram in Lahore to express anger over the defeat by Australia in the 1999 World Cup final

Sports

Pakistan may be a bit short of cricket practice these days (as no other teams seem to have the balls to play them) but there’s one sport they excel at and that’s effigy burning. Feel like you can’t compete with their petrol fuelled prowess? Well why not sign up for a Madrasa exchange programme where effigy burning is part of the official curriculum, along with marital rape and stoning!

Westside

Northern Ireland is still flying the flag for European Effigy Excellence. Guy Fawkes is joined by the Pope on your average Protestant pyre, and the pontiff doesn’t just get lit up on November 5th, he gets a roasting on Orangeman’s Day too, doing his bit to keep the Battle of the Boyne (1690) close to people’s hearts.