The Human Santapede


Written by Siobhan Morrin
20 Monday 20th December 2010
Human Santa-pede
It’s all in the name with this one. We all know, if not love, the cult film, The Human Centipede. So why not update your fan memorabilia for Christmas with the Human Santa-pede? Simple, yet effective, introduce the whole family to this festive version and line up your post-lunch viewing.



Not your usual Christmas icon, but possibly it's about worshipping baby Jesus in all his forms, even unborn. A particularly tasteful example of this comes cradling an automatic rifle to remind us of our boys in Iraq. An ambitious amount of imagery in one tiny package.


Even Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne is riding the trend, with this strange promotional video for a silver, mind-expanding fetus ornament - sadly currently off sale on their website.


A Cthulu tree topper

An alien in place of the angel? No, this is not a Scientologist Christmas, as far as we know, rather a mythical green creature called Cthulu. Created in 1926, Cthulu now features in games, books art and South Park parodies. And now Christmas decorations.  The monster has also been used to parody Christian mythology. Some would see that as pretty appropriate for the season... 

Cthulu Santa




Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without erotic tree hangers. Not for the makers of Pornaments anyway, who have got to work imagining what Santa Claus and Co. get up to on the other 364 days a year. They’d be great for starting conversation at those awkward dinner parties. Might spark more interesting conversation if there are kids around...
Peppermint Nick
Holiday Ride
The world's biggest Caganer

For our next item, we look across to our European neighbours. No, not Holland again - though see what they’re up to here. This time it’s Cataluña, for their ‘special visitor’ at the Nativity. The Caganer is just one of the figures paying a visit to the traditional scene, though his gift isn’t exactly precious. He squats, pants down, happily taking a shit at the birth of Jesus. How this got past the Catholic Church, we’ll never know. His origins are vague, ranging from the idea of equality - everybody hurts, sorry, shits - to his role in humanising a holy scene. Or maybe the Catalans just like a laugh at Christmas.
Caganers are often in the form of famous people

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  • Guest: transientdreams
    Sat 09 - Apr - 2011, 13:19
    I don't believe that Jesus ever pooped so we should probably just go bomb-and-blame Spain now. I mean, if a poop THAT big had landed on the baby Jesus, the Easter bunny would never have been born!~
  • Guest: jadeburnettmcdonald
    Thu 13 - Jan - 2011, 11:34
    can i get a list of stockists?
  • Sorcerer
    Tue 21 - Dec - 2010, 05:02
    hahaha the last image kills it. See what Santa has to say here aswel.